Sunday, August 26, 2007

The Importance of Feeling Good

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While you anxiously await the cliffhanger of a story that I am working on as Part II of "The Flight That Almost Killed Me" (don't commit premeditated murder, please, I'm doing my best to work and rework the true story - hang in there!), I stumbled onto a very compelling Law of Attraction experiment over at Made to be Great. It reinforced the importance of finding ways to feel good. Because we have the power to do so. It is just a matter of opening our eyes and looking.

As you know, I am a big proponent on the Law of Attraction. We are 100 percent responsible for our lives. We draw to us people, places and circumstances. The LOA says that if we want good things to happen to us, the key is to FEEL GOOD. Feeling good raises our energy vibration, bringing us what we want for ourselves easily and effortlessly.

Take a look at a few things that make me feel bad and what I'm doing about them:

1. Budgeting does not make me feel good. People will tell you it's a "responsible thing to do" but I digress. It only serves to remind me how much more money I want to have so subconsciously it sets in motion the lack feeling. What happens? I feel bad. So why do it?

2. Eating junk food makes me feel fat and causes me to experience low energy. If I eat enough of that stuff, I start to see results in the mirror, which makes me feel bad. So why eat junk food if you know it's going to make you feel that way?

3. When I was a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch, I was obsessed with monthly sales quotas and if I wasn't close to making them, I felt bad. So what did I do? I stopped looking at them!

4. When I don't go to the gym for even a brief workout, I feel bad. In fact, I feel "guilty." Why? Because I KNOW that if I go, even for a brief period of time, I feel better afterwards yet I don't always do it because I get lazy or let "life" interfere. The solution? I discipline myself and workout even if it's only for a half hour so I can feel better.

5. This one is my favorite. Comparing myself to others make me feel bad. When I do that, I feel inadequate and feel like a failure. So what to do? I stopped comparing myself to other people and instead believe that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and that I will get to where I want to go at the right time, under the right circumstances with the right people. That line of thinking always makes me feel good.

6. In the closet of my hallway there is a container of Tide detergent called Simple Pleasures (Vanilla and Lavender scent). I discovered this when shopping one day and decided to try it. Once I did my first load of laundry with this detergent and realized how great it smelled afterwards (thus making me feel good), I've been using it ever since. Who would ever have thought that a particular brand of detergent would make you feel good? Imagine how good it feels to slide under the freshly laundered bedsheets smelling of vanilla and lavender when I go to sleep at night! That means I feel good every single night when I retire, putting my mind in a good frame of reference regardless of how the day went.

7. What about when you look at yourself in the mirror? I'll bet this one will draw some ire from the "I love myself folks." Do you feel bad when you look at your body in the bathroom? Are your eyes drawn to those love handles that you've grown to detest? Does looking at them make you feel bad? I know it does for me. Instead of staring at those love handles, I now look at other parts of myself. Without being vain or egoistical, I do think I'm a pretty looking guy so I'll say to myself in the mirror, "Hey, dude, you ain't bad looking"! Then I'll wink at myself for good measure. That always makes me feel good.

8. How about the people you hang around with? Do they belittle you under the disguise of "joking around," making you feel bad? Actually, no one can make us feel anything unless we allow them to but suppose you feel uncomfortable or ill at ease around those people? You know, the people who give off "bad vibes." You feel bad in their presence. What to do? I don't hang around them! I'll call up someone whose positive energy makes me feel good and go to a movie or have coffee with that person. My vibrational energy always jumps several octaves higher after taking that step. In fact, I feel a great sense of gratitude when in the company of a good friend who treats me with love and respect.

9. Are you the type who won't buy a nice bottle of cologne/perfume? If you've hit a low snag for some reason, why not give yourself a nice treat, go to the mall and buy yourself your favorite fragrance? Almost every Sunday during church services, someone tells me "You smell good." They're saying that because I usually smack a couple dabs of "Tuscany" (by Aramis) on my neck. Looking in the bathroom cabinet the other day revealed I was running on low so what did I do today? I went to the mall and bought a new bottle. Did that make me feel good? Yep!

10. When I'm down for any reason, I'll jump in the car and drive myself to the park and go for a long walk. I find that when I commune with nature, I come back recharged. I have more energy and I feel better.

In order for the Law of Attraction to work, it's vitally important to feel good. It's up to you and me to bring the "feel good factor" up a couple notches. No one else can do it for us.

When you feel good, you raise your level of vibration and you attract the right people, situations and opportunities to you. People can't help but want to be in your presence because you feel good about yourself. When you speak, they listen to you. When you walk into a room, you don't have to do anything to get anyone's attention. Your "feel good energy" has already done that work for you.

So why not look for ways to feel good and attract more of the same? You deserve it.

Food for thought: What things make you feel good? Are you doing enough of it? Can you think of at least 5 things that make you feel bad and replace them with "feel good activities"?
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Blogger Smudge said...

Thank you for writing this & especially your point number 5.
I agree with the lavender detergent, I just got some last week for the first time. It's great. Another great thing is taking time out for yourself, go have a coffee somewhere. And having a friendly dog that loves everybody :)


8:04 AM  
Blogger Stephen J. Hopson said...

Hi Smudge:

You bet, having a dog that loves everyone is absolutely a great way to feel good, especially after coming home to a dog that's so happy to see you even if the day went bad. I grew up with a couple of dogs and I miss having one.

zisn't the lavender detergent a great invention or what? Don't you just love the smell?

Thanks for sharing!! Have a great rest of the week.


9:06 AM  
Anonymous Alan said...

Hi there. Thanks for the link back, much appreciated!

9:17 AM  
Anonymous Quint said...

I think there is a moral concept in the US that there is something wrong with feeling good. The worse something makes you feel, the better it really is. C.S. Lewis even supports this idea in Mere Christianity and The Problem of Pain.

So, we persist in doing things that are painful and reduce our energy, without really bringing any benefit. We need more reminders like this that happiness and joy are good things.

9:48 AM  
Blogger Stephen J. Hopson said...


You are right, there is a moral concept going on here in the US where people seem to think that life needs to be painful in order to be worthwhile.

Thanks for commenting today! Your thoughts are greatly appreciated and valued!


10:04 AM  
Blogger Stephen J. Hopson said...


You're quite welcome! You did a wonderful job over there at your blog about the value of feeling good. It reminded me to keep finding ways to feel good and get in alignment with the most important ingredient of the LOA, which is to feel good!

I was happy to give you the linkback because it was quality information benefiting not only myself but also those who are regular readers here at AU.


10:06 AM  
Blogger Nita said...

Hi Stephen,

As usual, I enjoy reading your blog posts. However, I have a question regarding your latest post. You mentioned that if someone gives you negative energy or puts you down, then simply stop seeing that person. But what if that person is an immediate member of your family? What then?

Btw, regarding others' comments on how people feel that life needs to be painful in order to be worthwhile, look at this way: how will life be worthwhile if everything is "smooth sailing"? What would be the point to struggle to accomplish something, therefore feeling good at the end? There's an universal principle of loss and gain. If you want only to gain something, it won't happen because you HAVE to lose something else in order to gain. It is how everything is balanced, like in accounting of assets and liabilities.

Of course, I don't mean to WANT life to be painful. I am just saying to take the "course of nature" whenever something happens, not to fight against it.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Stephen J. Hopson said...

Hi Nita:

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your viewpoints. That's the great thing about the commenting feature at this blog. It allows people like yourself to participate in a community, which will hopefully start a conversation of some kind. And I see that you have done just that! Thanks!

Let's've got a good point....what about family members who put you down? That's definitely a tough one to crack.

I've had varying degrees of challenges with my family in the distant past. We've all had that. Not all of us handle it in the same way but here's I handled mine.

One way was by praying for the family member that I was having difficulty with and seeing beyond the facade of that person. That allowed me to see their inner child and their insecurities, which made me realize none of how they behaved towards me was about me. It was about them - their "stuff."

The other was to not participate in family events for a certain period of time, giving me necessary breathing room. I've had that happen a few times while in college. I had been angry about something and didn't go home for the holidays for a while. Eventually we reconciled and all was well again but it took some work on both of our parts.

And the final thing is if it was unavoidable to see the difficult family member, I would acknowledge them but maintain some loving distance. Sometimes you have to love people at a distance and there's nothing wrong with that, even with certain family members.

One thing that worked for me was not only did I pray for them and saw their inner spiritual child but I also had an earnest face to face conversation with them. I did this with the mindset of not blaming or making them wrong for anything. Too often people get mired in the "blame game," making things worst. Not very productive.

What I've done was merely expressed how I felt. When you express how YOU feel, no one can take that away from you.

They may not agree but that's not why you are telling them this. You're not trying to get them to agree but you're simply stating how you feel. For instance, you might say something like, "I feel bad when I'm around you because I feel judged or put down when I'm around you."

Notice how the above statement does not blame or point fingers at the other person. You are merely stating your feelings, which you have a right to do.

If you read my story "Harry the Bank Boss," you'll see how I used visualization of love to reconcile with this difficult man. You can do the same with family members or friends. I know I have.

In regards to your other point about how you wouldn't learn anything if life was smooth sailing. That's very true.

However, what I was advocating in this post was that it's not what happens to you that matters (adversity, etc.) but how you handle it. In other words, we have a choice in how we feel about whatever happened to us.

For instance, we could choose to sulk for hours or days or weeks over something adversial that happened to us or we can control how we feel and take action to make ourselves feel better.

Let's say you were rejected for a job you applied for. Certainly that would be painful, right? But how long would you allow it to make you feel dejected?

If you had a different perspective about the "job rejection," you might see it as a lesson to be learned, or you might see that it was not meant to happen since God had bigger plans for you or you might see that the work environment would not have been a good fit for you anyway. It's all within your control how you react and consequently feel about something that happened to you.

You might have a long talk with a trusted friend about it, treat yourself to a refreshing spa treatment or you could turn on your favorite music or read your favorite book, all of which have the potential of instantly changing your mood for the better.

In regards to your comment about how we have to lose something in order to gain something else, I believe that there is plenty for all of us. We do not have winners and losers, contrary to what we've been taught.

Let's use the job situation again. Suppose you were up against someone for a job but you didn't get it. Does that mean you lost and the other person gained? Not necessarily. Some people might view that as a losing situation. But I disagree.

It's all a matter of perception. You might not have gotten the job for any number of reasons stated above.

There is no lack unless you believe in it. If a person believes there is competition and everyone wins and loses, then that person will experience it becuase that's how the Law of Attraction works. You attract what you believe.

I think it was Henry Ford who once said something like "If you believe, you are right. If you don't believe, you are right. Either way you are right!"

I hope that helps.


9:32 PM  
Anonymous Corinne Edwards said...

Law of Attraction works for me - and even before I knew what it was.

"What you focus on expands" has been my private mantra.

I think that anyone who is interested in the "Secret" should go to the source of the DVD which is Esther and Jerry Hicks website. Esther channels a series of entities who are collectively called Abraham and you can listen to some of the recordings for free.

I have attended their workshop and it is fascinating.

They were originally on the DVD but were eliminated when they were asked to give up some very important rights.

Like this article, Stephen! You have a talent for bringing a complicated issue right down to our every day needs!

i hope you are getting a commission on the detergent. I am off to the store to buy some!


2:21 PM  
Blogger Stephen J. Hopson said...

Hi Corinne:

How wonderful that you're going out to buy yourself the Tide Simple Pleasures detergent! you'll love it! Too bad I am not getting a commission for it. Oh well. Doesn't matter. It's a great product guranateed to make you feel good when your head hits the pillow at night.

Thanks for the compliment about how I am able to put complicated things into simple words or steps. I appreciate it!

The more I hear about Jerry and Esther Hicks, the more I know I need to get one of their books. I woh't be able to hear their DVDs or audio tapes but at least I should be able to read what they have to say. Their names keep popping up over and over again. Maybe it's time for me to pay heed to the message from universe and get myself one of their books! Thanks for reminding me.


2:29 PM  
Anonymous Deborah said...

Great post, I love the idea of twisting around what makes us feel bad and making it a positive. I did as you ask and wrote my five over at

But to comment on Nita's question about what to do about people that are negative that you still have to interact with - my son and I just had this convo. He just started a new school year and his fav subject, English, is being taught by a complete ogre.

I shared that in life we'll work with, meet, deal with lots of ogres but the trick is to quietly know in your heart this too shall pass. This class is only for one year. And he should enjoy doing his very best and surprising this teacher with his brilliance. Sure enough the next day my son had to do an in class essay and blew the pants off his teacher who ended up complimenting my son. The beginnings of a bond and perhaps an ogre slain.

Same with my ex-husband. I smile for the kids and know in my heart that this time with him will end at some point and I get to go home without him. It puts a smile on my face and helps me deal when he exhibits those "charming" traits that led us to divorce in the first place!


9:52 PM  
Blogger Stephen J. Hopson said...


I love the "ogre slain" comment. It immediately gave me this image of an ogre that I saw on the big screen not long ago. Cute!

Thanks for sharing and being part of the AU. I appreciate the love link over at your site. Hope your readers will participate in the idea of turning the things that make them feel bad into something that feels good.


6:17 AM  

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